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Sunday, January 12, 2014

church.

I went to church today.

and it was kind of incredible.

If anyone actually reads this, you probably know that Andrew is a leader at our church and that I work(ed) part-time just on Sundays helping out with the volunteers.  Andrew started at Ethos in August before we got married last September, and I started the Sunday after we returned from our Honeymoon.  Our marriage has only known getting up early on Sunday mornings together and being at Marathon to prepare and setup and pray and meet people and lead. What an INCREDIBLE gift it has been to serve alongside Andrew. He is beyond incredible at loving people and making every single person that he meets feel like 1,000 bucks (well, I'm bias.. but it's also fact). It has been such a sweet season, but has also come with challenges and questions.

I started graduate school in August (which I love, side note) and the Fall semester is busy and overwhelming in a lot of ways... and Sundays sometimes became something I was doing instead of being a part of. I hope that makes sense in a not-negative way.  After lots and lots of conversations and prayers and questions and tears and so on... Andrew and I decided that it was going to be best for us, our marriage, my heart, the next season of life for me to take a small step back and stop coordinating at Marathon. (Side note: this is not about coordinating or not coordinating. It's about today at church. But there was some backstory needed).

So today, the first Sunday since Andrew and I got married, I went to church. I drove myself and showed up alone and walked in a little hesitantly happily.  I think I could have cried at how many people that were there and how kind and welcoming and how warm and open they were to the floods of people walking in.  I was with Caity and Jill (two incredible friends that God HAD to have sent just for me somedays... today.. obviously one of those days) and the friendship we share just overwhelmed me with emotion.

and THEN church started.  Wow.  If I'm being honest (well, I am...) I think it's been a really long time since I just went to church and actually soaked it in.  I'm usually there for the sound check so I enjoy the worship while setting things up, then often think about the morning or my day while the people actually worship.  WOW! Do the singing voices sound like that every week? Because if so, my heart has been in another place and it's been in desperate need of that beautiful community of people that stand and sing to the Lord.

I know that the presence of God was around me today.

I could hear it in the singing and while listening to ever word that Will led.

I felt it between Andrew and Jill and Caity and my thankfulness for great community we have around us.

I could see it across the entire room. God was there with us today.

Seasons come and seasons go.  What a sweet season it has been to serve and work and lead and love and cast vision... and what a sweet season it will be to take a step back and remember that God is good even when I have absolutely nothing to do with the work He's doing.  I'll be sad when

I didn't realize how much coordinating meant to me... That's for sure. I definitely didn't anticipate crying Saturday night thinking about not going with Andrew early the next morning... but I also didn't imagine weeping through worship and the first half of the sermon because of the overwhelming sense of peace and joy and THANKFULNESS that God poured over me.

What a good God we serve and how faithful He is to guide us and lead us to an overwhelming and full life in Him.

I want to know that God more and cling closer to Him in this next season.  It will be weird but it will be wonderful at the same time.

Happy Sunday :)

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